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Forum Admin

Reported Posts & Forum Rules

43 posts in this topic

Good afternoon all

 

Over the past few days we have received a number of complaints about people posting sarcastic replies. Therefore, we feel that we must reiterate our stance to keep this forum friendly and remind you that we will act accordingly should we become aware of bullying or offensive comments.

 

Our cruise forum is a place to seek cruise related help and advice, to share knowledge as well as providing a place for friendly debate. It is not a place to trade insults, berate other forum users or discriminate against anyone who promotes something you don’t agree with (an example is the topic of smoking). 

 

We do not want to curtail ‘friendly banter’ but ask that you consider your response before you post it, if you feel that you might offend someone you can request our opinion beforehand. We are not pointing the finger at anyone in particular but are politely reminding you all of our forum policy rules.

 

Best regards

 

Jaczs, ron, 2torts and 3 others like this

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I know this probably won't happen, but perhaps the posts that have been reported could be highlighted to give an example of unacceptable behaviour.

 

Certain topics (such as smoking) will always become quite heated.  While outright abusive comments or those directly attacking someone should not be tolerated, sarcasm should hardly be hurtful.  I wonder if some posts are being flagged simply because someone disagrees with the post?

 

That would be a shame, and really hinder discussion on the forum.

Cruiseada likes this

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Whilst everyone is entitled to their opinion and can state that opinion, the opinion must be objective rather than subjective. I disagree with you Duncan about sarcasm. No the sarcasm won't kill you but particular comments are clearly deliberately designed to denigrate the subject matter and the views of the person at whom it is aimed. It's all about respect. Respect for other people and their opinions, lifestyle, cruiseline and the rest. What a pity that Admin has found it necessary to raise this matter once again. A lot of noise is made about the young yobs of today, yet here we are people reading that some have felt the need to complain about behaviour where you least expect to find it.

Matilda_1 and Jaczs like this

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Unfortunately as much as I appreciate admins intervention it will only lead to speculation on two fronts.

Who are the perpetrators and who are the complainants.

If as Duncan suggests that the offending posts are highlighted then the reason for it being reported must also be highlighted as what is sarcastic/offensive to one person may not be to another.

Good luck admin as it seems you may have opened a large can of worms.

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Whilst everyone is entitled to their opinion and can state that opinion, the opinion must be objective rather than subjective. I disagree with you Duncan about sarcasm. No the sarcasm won't kill you but particular comments are clearly deliberately designed to denigrate the subject matter and the views of the person at whom it is aimed. It's all about respect. Respect for other people and their opinions, lifestyle, cruiseline and the rest. What a pity that Admin has found it necessary to raise this matter once again. A lot of noise is made about the young yobs of today, yet here we are people reading that some have felt the need to complain about behaviour where you least expect to find it.

 

Sarcasm doesn't need to be offensive or directed at someone, but it can be used to help make a point or in the pursuit of humour.

 

Opinions are fine and are always subjective.  Objective opinions are called facts.  I think a lot of the issues stem from the fact that people sometimes state misinformation and want the protection of opinion (e.g. "I'm entitled to my opinion!" and "We need to agree to disagree!").  If someone has the wrong information then they should be corrected, and are not entitled to the protection of opinion.

 

I think the biggest thing people should learn is the ability to debate properly, but so many people take a very valid and reasoned argument as a personal attack and immediately lose all ability to reason and debate within the bounds of logical validity.  This is when the personal attacks come out and people get frustrated.

Oldworldtraveller likes this

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They could always do what other sites do and delete them as censored…..

 

I absolutely disagree that posts should be deleted or censored.  This completely removes the ability for any learning to come out of administrative intervention.

 

I believe that closing a wayward thread but leaving it as an example of behaviour that Bolsover doesn't want in it's forum would be a better course of action.

 

The only problem with that is that as the forum is owned by a business who relies on reputation, there may be fears at Bolsover HQ that the forum reflect badly on the company.  I'd hope that nobody would have those feelings as it's clear the posts aren't made by Bolsover, but you never know!

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Sometimes a little sarcasm is justified but it has to be tempered with humour. The posts concerned do not need highlighting as we all know which ones they are. As a moderator on another forum I know how hard it is to walk that fine line and make the decision between acceptable and non acceptable. It is my experience, if you know personally the person making the comment you are more likely to accept it as jest than if the person is unknown to you other than by a forum name. Could I suggest that Admin contact the persons concerned and hopefully that will bring the matter to a satisfactory conclusion. No need to name and shame, delete, censor or highlight posts as I believe that would just exasperate the situation. Close a thread by all means but do not touch the content unless it is damaging to Bolsover's reputation or Libels someone. In extreme cases delete it. There is a time honoured saying "If you cant stand the heat in the kitchen, get out the kitchen" Just my opinion.

dst87 likes this

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I'm just pleased to hear that at least Admin are on the ball and know the direction that they want this forum to follow.

 

They have my support.

Oldworldtraveller likes this

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As far as I am concerned if someone is offended by another then they are offended. It does not matter what other people think, because is not for others to decide whether or not someone is overreacting or being overly sensitive, the fact is that if someone is offended then they are offended. That's it. Differences of opinion must be expressed in a respectful way so that they do not cause offence. I agree that it can be difficult for admin but they have received complaints. I am sure they will have looked at the matter and have clearly agreed with the complaints and as a result have once again reminded everyone of their responsibilities as members.

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As far as I am concerned if someone is offended by another then they are offended. It does not matter what other people think, because is not for others to decide whether or not someone is overreacting or being overly sensitive, the fact is that if someone is offended then they are offended. That's it. Differences of opinion must be expressed in a respectful way so that they do not cause offence. I agree that it can be difficult for admin but they have received complaints. I am sure they will have looked at the matter and have clearly agreed with the complaints and as a result have once again reminded everyone of their responsibilities as members.

 

I disagree.  I could quite easily say that your opinion in this matter offends me!  Someone claims that blue cheese if the most disgraceful substance on earth - I'm offended by that!  Someone else feels that purple is the best colour, but I might claim offence to that!

 

In any of the above cases any sensible person would argue that I am being ridiculous and overly-sensitive.  I have no right to be offended by that at all and saying so is somewhat meaningless.  We shouldn't tolerate a personal attack on people, but saying that we should avoid offending people at all costs?  No, sorry, we'd suddenly find ourselves unable to talk about very much of anything at all as the line at which someone gets 'offended' will be drastically different from person to person, and in most cases it's impossible to know where the line lies until it is crossed.

 

To quote Stephen Fry:

 

It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that.' As if that gives them certain rights. It's actually nothing more... than a whine. 'I find that offensive.' It has no meaning; it has no purpose; it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so kiwi what.

 

All that's required is a little common sense and courtesy.  Nothing more!

ron likes this

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The only part that was deleted or censored, as I refer to in my previous post on this thread, was the bit that was either abusive or too much below the belt. This is not a topic that I will get involved in but did think originally that I would state what other sites had done. It did not mean that it was in anyway my view.

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I think deleting posts is counter productive.  

 

I love the fact that OWT thinks posts 'do not need highlighting as we all know which ones they are'.  A very brave statement, as some of us are openly sarcastic, others use sarcasm more subtly - and to paraphrase OWT 'I am sure we all know who fits into which category".

 

I rarely if ever report a post, because I am an adult and if I 'like to have my say', I equally have to respect someone else having theirs, whether it be sarcastic, truthful, hurtful, supercilious, potato or whatever - I like to think I am big enough to cope.

 

We are all different and long may we remain so.

dst87 likes this

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Hi Lulucat,

Not brave, fact as I believe we all know what is sarcasm and what is not so therefore I do not believe that the posts concerned need highlighting. Not sure how you obtain the 'paraphrase' as I have neither said, implied nor intimated anything like it, as I know not who fits into each category. However you are entitled to your opinion.

OWT

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Goodoh - a lot depends on which side of which fence you choose to sit.   My attempt at a 'joke' obviously fell way short of any acceptable standard as well.  

 

Never mind, as you say I am entitled to my opinion - and given some of the stuff that crops up here - I am truly glad that I am.

 

Have a nice evening.

Oldworldtraveller likes this

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It's a sad day, and a sad forum, when one can't have a bit of fun and a bit of sarcasm on a 'Smoking' thread. There was nothing to warrant reports to Admin. I fully realise that Smokers are an extremely sensitive bunch - and rightly so - as their habit is a minority habit which offends the majority. However, they have decided to complain to Admin who have in turn deemed it necessary to quash debate. If everyone agrees with everyone else it will be an extremely boring forum.

 

Bye

 

Harvey

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Trouble is Harvey, you are very happy to 'dish it' but not very happy when you think you and your pals are on the receiving end - you were 'rather offended' by my sarcasm the other day - even though there was nothing in my post that said to whom it referred - you took umbrage did you not?

 

So therefore when you are having a bit of fun and a bit of sarcasm it is OK - but when others do it your toys are out.

 

Funny that.

ron likes this

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Harvey it is a sad day and a sad forum when sarcasm the lowest form of wit is used to try to provoke reactions from other members. You can deny that was you intention but reading it gives that view.

Everyone knows your stance it has been said by yourself often enough which is your right, but it is not your right to belittle others and you seem to take pleasure in doing so as you are doing it again with the line "smokers are an extremely sensitive bunch" so now you seem to know who sent reports I assume? Gosh what a shock it would be if non-smokers had also reported you.

Clearly admin does not agree with you, which I for one am thankful for. If you think not having sarcasm will quash debate turn this forum boring you are wrong. 

Fudge likes this

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Trouble is Harvey, you are very happy to 'dish it' but not very happy when you think you and your pals are on the receiving end - you were 'rather offended' by my sarcasm the other day - even though there was nothing in my post that said to whom it referred - you took umbrage did you not?

 

So therefore when you are having a bit of fun and a bit of sarcasm it is OK - but when others do it your toys are out.

 

Funny that.

 

Good morning Lulucat.

 

In the interests of clarity can I make the valid assumption that it was your  remarks that were reported and, again one assumes, censored by the Admin.

 

Looking into my crystal ball do I see future accusations regarding groups and Cliques?

 

My suggestion would be to concentrate on the aspects of cruising  which the majority of members on this forum are here for.

 

Your last cruise experience would be a good starting point.

 

Mine has been well documented.

Oldworldtraveller likes this

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It's an old chestnut to purport that what one has said was a joke with the retort 'can't you take a joke?' thereby turning it on to the recipient as lacking in humour or being a misery guts.  People have to take some responsibility for their remarks surely?   Stephen Fry is saying pretty much what my other half says, that anyone can say whatever they like to anyone they choose but unfortunately the majority of people don't see it like that, they invariably take offence.  In an ideal world if we all respect everyone else's right to say whatever they want and accept it as that person's right to say whatever they want there won't be a problem.  But as things stand  people are not accepting another's right to say what they want and have complained.  Admin have agreed with the complaint so that is the end of the matter.  Sensible respectful debate will not be quashed just because someone has been asked to moderate their debating skills without resorting to sarcasm.  Oh, and whatever people may think, every forum will has its non-cruising topics and general chat.  The owners of the forum allow non-cruising topics so it is not for an individual to tell people what they should be posting about.

ron and Freestyle Fred like this

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Im getting bored with this now....

 

If you cant take sarcasm dont dish it out then complaint to admin when you dont like your replies. 

 

My 5 year old grandson is more mature than some people on here...just saying :rolleyes:

Freestyle Fred likes this

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Good morning Lulucat.

 

In the interests of clarity can I make the valid assumption that it was your  remarks that were reported and, again one assumes, censored by the Admin.

 

Looking into my crystal ball do I see future accusations regarding groups and Cliques?

 

My suggestion would be to concentrate on the aspects of cruising  which the majority of members on this forum are here for.

 

Your last cruise experience would be a good starting point.

 

Mine has been well documented.

 

Good morning Richard - Not for the first time you would be completely wrong.  I am not sure what you are trying to implicate in your post about groups and cliques, but quite frankly, for the first time in my recollection I am going to report a post - and yes it will be yours.

 

I have referred to my cruises on here on numerous occasions - but you, as always, feel it it appropriate for you to denigrate the words of others - in exactly the same way as you did on Cruise Dot and for which eventually I guess you were banned.

 

I am not sure who you think you are, but your comments and your hypotheses are unwelcome.

Freestyle Fred and DBH like this

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