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dancefloordemon

Joke Of The Day

127 posts in this topic

We like this thread:

 

MORE AMMO!

A guy walked into a crowded bar, waving his model 1911 Colt .45 caliber pistol with an 8 round magazine, and yelled, “Who in here has been sleeping with my wife?”
A voice from the back of the bar yelled back, “You’ll need more ammo.”

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Hello again,comment mqde in jest certainly not to offend.

Thank you for the offer,but as possibly one of the worst joke tellers in existance,for all your sakes I will pass and go and have lunch.

Rodger.

WAVES and dancefloordemon like this

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I can never remember jokes, my husband is the one for telling silly jokes. Perhaps I'll ask him for one or two, although like me you will probably have heard them dozens of times.rolleyes.gif

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Damn Autocorrect


A man received a text from his neighbor, “I am so sorry Bill. I’ve been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you’re not around. I’m not getting any at home, but that’s no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won’t happen again.”


The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.


A few moments later, a second text came in: Damn autocorrect. I meant “wifi”, not “wife”.


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Damn Autocorrect

A man received a text from his neighbor, “I am so sorry Bill. I’ve been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you’re not around. I’m not getting any at home, but that’s no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won’t happen again.”

The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.

A few moments later, a second text came in: Damn autocorrect. I meant “wifi”, not “wife”.

 

hahaha that made me chuckle

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Damn Autocorrect

A man received a text from his neighbor, “I am so sorry Bill. I’ve been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you’re not around. I’m not getting any at home, but that’s no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won’t happen again.”

The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.

A few moments later, a second text came in: Damn autocorrect. I meant “wifi”, not “wife”.

 

Hi K&R,

 

Love the gags.  Bit concerned they both involve firearms - but wouldn't want to jump the gun!!

dancefloordemon, Tally and JH327 like this

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