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Jaczs

A complainers Review (expecting at least £300 in compo)

137 posts in this topic

After a one hours drive to Southampton dock (why it could not have been moved nearer I do not know) we arrived at the terminal only to have some chap remove my luggage from the boot before my chauffer could do it, I shall be docking his wages. We headed up to the checking in area where we were handed a cheap piece of plastic with a letter attached in a colour really not to my taste and which clashed with my nautical outfit bought bespoke from Primarnie. Well after a 10 minute wait we were herded like cattle to begin the check in process which could have been quicker in my book but I am not one to complain.

 

One we finally got through the security and on board we expected to be greeted by the Captain but he was no where to be see (bad form) it was the least he could do but he must think himself to important he didn't even bother to send down any of his officers so we had to find our own cabin. And who in their right minds decided to make all the corridors look the same and worse still all the doors, how is one expected to find ones cabin when it all looks the same? More needs to be done to rectify this and I shall be writing to the CEO to point this out.

 

On entering the cabin we were dismayed to find none of the lights worked and yes we tried them all but to no avail, we had to spend 45 minutes trying to find reception where we demanded a new cabin only to be told we had not put the card in the slot to get the lights to work. How did you expect us to know this? Very poor show and I will be claiming part of my money back for loss of holiday as it took us 50 additional minutes to re-find our cabin.

 

Card in slot and light on we found a mat on the bed very unhygienic I must say, the steward told us it was for us to rest our cases on!!!! We are not dirty people and our luggage is spotless how dare your company imply we are dirty?  We shall be claiming money for slanderous accusations. We were told we would have flowers in our room well I hardly call one wilting stem in a plastic vase an arrangement so I shall of course be claiming for a bouquet and an additional amount for disappointment and stress.

 

I shall continue my review once we have set sail, which I am sure we will do once the Captain has woken up from his slumber and managed to find his way to the bridge where he will tell the crew how busy he had been showing passengers to their cabin. It is a good job I am normal and not one to complain.

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Well after such a stressful day we have now been subjected to what I can only call a mediocre dinner I mean it said a medley of vegetable I don't think anyone can call two carrots and three sugar snap pea's a medley can they? and as for the potato maybe they should allow them to grow before they pick them I have seen larger cherry tomatoes in my green house. At least the cheese board was correct as I have never seen such bored sad pieces of cheese anywhere else. I will now be expecting a food refund on top of the other refunds.

 

We have managed to find our cabin tonight I knew hanging ribbons on the door would help but I will be expecting a refund on production of the ribbon receipt and have found the horror of my nightwear being used for the amusement of the cabin steward in the form of an elephant. I am now feeling very stressed at the thought of someone playing with my garments and insulted that they think me elephant sized. I have taken photo's as evidence to my forthcoming claim and I am sorry but that sad little square of what they call chocolate left on the pillow will not be sweetening me and with what I have paid I was expecting a box at the very least. Time for sleep now but not before I ring the captain and ask him to change direction I am sure he is hitting every wave on purpose.

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Day two: sea day.

 

Bun fight at the OK Coral...................

 

We awoke this morning after a disturbed sleep I don't understand how a ship can creek and groan so much and who invented hangers which rattle all night? and what stupid company buys them. We will be complaining about the noise from outside I think after 9pm passengers should be made to remove their shoes before being allowed down the corridors and maybe also be made to wear gags so one does not have to listen to the cackle.

 

After making a coffee with those stupid little pots of what they call milk you know the ones which you either A) cannot open or B) you can open but they spit at you like the spiteful little things they are, we showered and headed to the help yourself buffet bar. BIG MISTAKE .......... after eventually finding a table which in itself is no easy task the use of both elbows were required at this point as was throwing myself over chairs to secure it we decided we had best have one of us standing guard over it at all times. Yes it was a table for six but I am not having anyone invading my space so then had to keep telling everyone it was full I think their should be a reserved sign one can use. The juice bar was my first annoyance why have it when their are no glasses to fill? I have never had to fight for my breakfast and shall not be doing it again a truly awful place to be avoided at all cost.

 

Up to the pool deck where after an extensive walk and more wear and tear on my shoes than I would like there was not a sunbed to be seen which was available which I was very annoyed at, towels on all the beds but hardly a body to be seen except bodies which In my opinion should have been well covered. There was no staff member removing the said towels so it was up to me to remove the offending objects along with more than enough copies of 50 shades of grey to start my own second hand book stall. we now had a nice prime spot to catch a small amount of sunshine (one does not need to over do these things) well to my horror the ship changed it course and plunged us into shade. I am very annoyed we were force to clear yet another row of seats on the other side and handle yet more copies of "THAT BOOK" I am only thankful none of my neighbours could see me I would be a laughing stock.

 

Luncheon was a far more civilised affair in the dinning room the food was alright if not Waitrose standard but we had very little to complain about except maybe a little too much ice in the water but that is a minor detail and I am sure that a quiet word with the manager will sort that out.

 

We have a formal night this even so I am off to have my hair teased and nails polished one must look the part at all times.

nick1310, del82, wanderlust and 3 others like this

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How very dare you Terminator it was a minor slip of the finger being depressed on the keyboard I shall be looking for some recompense for your slur on my impeccable character.

You Sir are a cad....I challenge you to a duel.

I choose the manner of the duel and mud wrestling it will be.

My butler against yours..and may the best girl win.

P.S.

Videos will be on sale after...

JH327 and WAVES like this

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I Mr Terminator am a lady and would never been seen wearing mud unless it was at Champneys (not that one needs any treatments) that goes without saying. The only duel I have is ovens as befits my kitchen which of course is just for show we eat out doncha know :)

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So after a visit to the hair and nail bar I dressed to wow in my Giorgio Armarni frock which I could not believe I found in a local Asda store (who would have known) we made our way to the dining room and for a moment I thought I must have the wrong night, I have seen better dressed people whilst walking past a KFC, standards are really dropping I mean people were wearing dresses from Coast how very cheap........ I found the food to be of an OK standard but again was disappointed that we have not been given a seat at the Captains table (Clearly he does not realise this is our 95th cruise) a trip to reception should sort it out. Had some buffoon ask if we had been ashore today clearly to stupid to realise we have been at sea so after coffee we quickly left to have a nightcap in a better class of bar and not one of those pub like things where rowdy people go. One Dubonnet was more than adequate and we retired to find our cabin, which is now much easier since I sent the other half to mark the route with some tasteful ribbons (I have kept the receipt). I think we should sleep better tonight as we have demanded the steward pad the hangers and stick them to the rail to stop the offending rattle and we have ask reception if they can have a word with the Captain to stop hitting every wave and to have some consideration for those of us trying to sleep.

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Mr Terminator you are going a step too far I have never been accused of moaning I simply believe in pointing out all which is wrong in the world and how people can improve themselves so they are nearly as perfect as me, who (if I say so myself) is practically perfect in everyway. :D

Terminator likes this

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Today has been a port day (Vigo) so after a more civilised breakfast than yesterday we made our way down to deck 5 to leave the ship for a browse around. This is Spain's busiest fishing port I do not disagree as quite frankly the unsavoury aroma assaulted my nose to a point of me feeling quiet unwell maybe the fishermen should unload their catch somewhere else. The town has suffered naval attacks throughout its history why someone would fight for this place is beyond me, you would be dead climbing the steep streets before you even got to fight. We had planned to visit nearby Santiago de Compostela but thought better off it as I have smelt enough fish thank you very much and am not going to assault my nostrils with compost.

 

We found a café to sit for a while and tried to order a nice cup of tea but why oh why can't the Spanish learn English it is not like it is that difficult and it would have made our lives so much easier we settled for coffee in the end which to be fair was not bad but it was no Nescafe. We watched the world go by for a while a browsed a few shops and made some purchases for the neighbours, it is not that we are that friendly with them but we wanted them to know we have been away and we are well travelled.

 

We have arrived back on board where we will be having diner tonight in Sindhu so I shall be expecting very good service and food so until my next instalment TTFN (that is computer speak for "Tah Tah for now BTW)

nick1310 and Bailey like this

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Armani dear...it's Armani...are you an Essex girl by any chance with delusions of grandeur?

Are you one of those commoners that the aristos bring in every now and again as they've been inbred for so long they all look and sound the same?

Nah Luton Airport...

Jaczs likes this

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No Mr Terminator I am just one of those upper class people that are now doing in on purpose so I can annoy one fellow forum member :D

 

I am not from Essex I am from where the Zider apples grow and one has combine harvesters. Where as we all know you are from 2029 and are a mere cyborg who knows nothing of fashion except leather ;)

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Mmmmm..leather...now you're talking.

Shame you're a wurzel...ooh ahh, ooh ahh..oh dear..how very common.

Next you'll be telling me you're from Crinkley Bottom andf Mr Blobby is your soul mate.

Was Adge Cutler your dad by any chance?

Jaczs likes this

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Mr Terminator I hope you are not suggesting my bottom is crinkled :o I have never been so insulted :D

 

You do realise that Crinkley Bottom isn't real don't you? it is Cricket St Thomas in real life and not Blobby land, however the pink and yellow house is still there in the undergrowth so maybe Mr Terminator could move in there and bring out his more gentle less harsh side.

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Mr Terminator I hope you are not suggesting my bottom is crinkled ohmy.png I have never been so insulted biggrin.png

 

You do realise that Crinkley Bottom isn't real don't you? it is Cricket St Thomas in real life and not Blobby land, however the pink and yellow house is still there in the undergrowth so maybe Mr Terminator could move in there and bring out his more gentle less harsh side.

 

There isn't one...

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