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Mimosa

I'm sure we've all met a few of these people.......

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I was just flicking through a review sight & I saw a post headed "AVOID THE FF'S".  Wanting to know what at FF was I read on.  I have just laughed my way through this & thought I'd share with you all.......

 

And who/what are the ‘FFs’ I refer to in my headline that I suggest you avoid? Frequent Floaters!

The captain (who is a great sport) mentioned in one of his short talks that two-thirds of the guests had cruised with P&O previously ... and don’t they let you know it!

Unfortunately, the FFs not only love to bore you with the intricate details of every cruise they’ve ever done but they also continually moan about the cruise they’re on. The record that we came across was a couple who were on their 17th, yes their 17th, cruise. And they’d already booked for next year. We also met a couple who were cruising in the Caribbean for the 10th year in a row.

Now, there’s no problem here at all. Although we would get bored to death with doing the same type of holiday each year let alone to the same locations, each to their own. If this is what people want to do, then that is of course fine. But stop going on and on and on about it and stop moaning about everything on the current cruise being worse than previous cruises.

Here are a sample of the comments we heard (and please insert the name of any cruise ship you wish as after a while you realise these FFs have been on them all, the Aurora, the Oceania, the Titanic):

• “On the Black Pig they changed the carpets in the lifts each day. Each day the carpet had the name of the day woven into it. It’s these little touches that the Britannia just don’t have”! Who cares? Stop looking at your feet!

• “On the Titanic there were more lifts and so you didn’t have to wait so long”. Believe me, the longest you wait on the Britannia is about 90 seconds. What’s the hurry, you’re on a cruise?

• “On the Mary Celeste they decanted the wine. We only drink wine if it’s been decanted”. I think this is a couple that don’t really understand the purpose of decanting and when wine needs to be decanted!

• “On the Jolly Roger they served the vegetables separately”. We really just didn’t understand why this was a good thing... any ideas?

Etc. etc. You get the idea. Many FFs even moaned that the gift of a Monopoly Set from P&O on Christmas day was inappropriate and not good enough. I think they need to look around the world and realise that they’re on a luxury cruise while thousands of refugees and children are starving!

The FFs seem to have forgotten what a cruise is about and they’re now just playing cruising ‘Top Trumps’ chasing the perfect ship ...” This is our second cruise on the Britannia this year…”, “We were on the maiden voyage…”, “We helped design the Britannia…”, “We helped build the Britannia…” (okay, I made the last two up).

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I expect they believe they are making interesting conversation and imparting nuggets of information. Alternatively they are just Tommy Toppers who revel in feeling superior/more wealthy than other people. If the former, then fair enough. If the latter - then what sad people they are.

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I must admit we had a couple join our table in August, 5 days into the cruise, who could not stop going on comparing P&O with Holland & America. We ended up going to other restaurants to get away but they completely ruined our last night with our friends by hogging all the conversation.

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I did a cruise on my own a few years back, just to get away so to speak, and I was on a table of couples who virtually ignored me throughout the cruise evening meals. On the 2nd to last night the chap sitting next to me asked me what I did and when I told him he said 'why didn't you say before that would have been most interesting'. Now whilst I am not one to say anything I did comment on the fact that they had ignored me for the last two weeks.They were so full of themselves I couldn't get a word in edgeways at anytime anyway.

 

Those sort of people I can definitely do without.

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Guest Solent Richard

I'm always a bit sceptical about the intensity of these stories especially when they are third or fourth hand.

 

In the past I've heard them all, either from a visiting comedian or while in the laundrette.

 

Personally I never mention my previous cruises until asked but I can well understand the subject of cruising being raised at a dinner table on board a cruise ship - let's face it, every one around the table has a common interest.

 

It would be akin to attending a dinner given by the Association of Plumbers and not expecting to hear about the either the pipework or a 'bladder tank'.

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I did a cruise on my own a few years back, just to get away so to speak, and I was on a table of couples who virtually ignored me throughout the cruise evening meals. On the 2nd to last night the chap sitting next to me asked me what I did and when I told him he said 'why didn't you say before that would have been most interesting'. Now whilst I am not one to say anything I did comment on the fact that they had ignored me for the last two weeks.They were so full of themselves I couldn't get a word in edgeways at anytime anyway.

 

Those sort of people I can definitely do without.

A good point to raise this as it is clearly harder to join a conversation as a single, and not everyone has an extrovert personality.

Om an Azura cruise last year we had a single lady on our table on a couple of occasions who arrived at the dinner table "well oiled", and totally dominated the conversation. She claimed to be a dancer so I promised to seek her out for a dance that evening, but did not need to as when I turned to leave the floor there she was in the first aisle seat.

I spent the following three minutes struggling to keep her vertical, and returned to my seat to find my wife in hysterics and with a video that I told her must never find it's way on to Facebook.

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Guest Solent Richard

A good point to raise this as it is clearly harder to join a conversation as a single, and not everyone has an extrovert personality.

Om an Azura cruise last year we had a single lady on our table on a couple of occasions who arrived at the dinner table "well oiled", and totally dominated the conversation. She claimed to be a dancer so I promised to seek her out for a dance that evening, but did not need to as when I turned to leave the floor there she was in the first aisle seat.

I spent the following three minutes struggling to keep her vertical, and returned to my seat to find my wife in hysterics and with a video that I told her must never find it's way on to Facebook.

 

Great story Wheels, I have a similar dancing one that can wait a few days though.

 

Meanwhile, when doing a solo cruise (without my wife who had a singing engagement at home) on Braemar the organisation assumed I was a single traveller: so they sat me on the 'singles' table. One other guy and six 'ladies'.

 

On the first night I was the last to arrive and, not wanting to hold up proceedings, quickly ordered a bottle of wine. It duly arrived and I noted no one else had any so I offered a glass to the lady on my right. She accepted and so I leant forward and made the same offer to the lady to her right.

 

Cut a long story short the bottle circumnavigated the table and returned to me 'empty'.

 

laugh.png laugh.png laugh.png  

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Great story Wheels, I have a similar dancing one that can wait a few days though.

 

Meanwhile, when doing a solo cruise (without my wife who had a singing engagement at home) on Braemar the organisation assumed I was a single traveller: so they sat me on the 'singles' table. One other guy and six 'ladies'.

 

On the first night I was the last to arrive and, not wanting to hold up proceedings, quickly ordered a bottle of wine. It duly arrived and I noted no one else had any so I offered a glass to the lady on my right. She accepted and so I leant forward and made the same offer to the lady to her right.

 

Cut a long story short the bottle circumnavigated the table and returned to me 'empty'.

 

laugh.png laugh.png laugh.png

So, did anyone else buy a bottle?

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Guest Solent Richard

So, did anyone else buy a bottle?

 

Good afternoon Wheels.

 

Not at the table though, during the course of the cruise,  I can confess to receiving a number of invites to share a bottle of Champagne in a few ladies' cabins or in the quiet corner (?) of a bar.

 

biggrin.png biggrin.png

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