Hey, it’s okay…
1) To wonder what happens to the separate bikini components.
Shops full of bikini bottoms, underwear drawers full of bikini tops; WHY CAN’T YOU JUST STAY TOGETHER!?
2) To tell yourself you don’t need anything new clothes-wise, yet find yourself repeating the familiar process of ‘tear off price tags – place item in suitcase – hide tags from hubby – state “I’ve had it ages, I only get it out for holidays” if anyone asks’.
3) To spend a fortune on pampering before you go away, only for your gel nails to fade in the pool and your hair to stay in a permanent ponytail because it’s too hot to have it down.
4) If you always wear your best sandals to the airport, only to find yourself contemplating what is inevitably going to be a lifetime of verrucas from having to walk around barefoot in security
5) To die of embarrassment when the lovely old gentleman with the salt and pepper hair has to rifle through your undies in front of the whole security queue. All because of a rogue lip balm.
6) If you secretly wish they’d invent an adult version of the Trunki.
7) To check that it’s your own passport you’ve picked up and not that of your spouse.
And then do it again and again, even after you’ve made it through security.
8) To toast the end of your holiday diet with a jumbo mixed grill at the airport hotel, followed by a fry up in departures.
9) To secretly scan the menu for the least hardcore option when it comes to the traditional 7am ‘first drink of the holiday’ at the airport
10) It’s also okay if you can’t help but smugly share a photo of said drink, with a plane in the background and your passport/boarding card/sunglasses beside it on the table.
After all, is it even a holiday if you haven’t bragged about it on Facebook?
11) If that book you’ve packed for the plane gets shunned in favour of eight glorious hours of in-flight movies.
12) To feel like an absolute idiot in an eye mask. And for it to let light in anyway, because your nose is clearly slightly larger than average.
13) To clap when the plane lands. We get it, they did a good job and you’re happy you’re here, we won’t judge you.
14) If the sense of impending doom at the luggage carousel never fails to arise, no matter how many times you have holidayed without issue.
15) If you’re never sure how tight to tie those bikini bottoms – too tight and it’s love handle central, too loose and the kids in the pool won’t know what’s hit them when you ascend the steps.
16) If your door hanger is permanently turned to ‘Please do not disturb’, purely because you’re embarrassed about the suitcase explosion currently decorating the room.
17) To have a case full of unworn sun dresses that scream ‘sexy señorita’, yet find yourself wondering whether it’d be a bit gross to wear those denim shorts four days in a row.
18) To tell yourself you’ll limit the inevitable holiday weight gain by having fruit for breakfast and a salad for lunch, only to find yourself knee deep in chocolate croissants and swimming through pesto pasta.
19) To catch sight of bronzed bodies running on the seafront and tell yourself that next time you’ll bring your gym stuff and do the same.
Next time, always next time.
20) To find yourself sat on the plane in a neon green Majorca hoodie because you forgot to pack a jumper for when you land back in the UK at 7am on an October morning.
21) To live on all those local foods for at least a week after you get back. What do you mean chorizo, feta and olives isn’t a meal?
And who ever gets bored of paella anyway.